Book Review: The Warlord of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

The Warlord of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Edgar Rice Burroughs can weave a tale of excitement for sure but his characters leave much to be desired. After three books, I was hoping for a bit of character development but none was forthcoming. There's also a noticeable plot pattern that the three books share, which I wouldn't mind so much if it weren't for:

1. The Perpetual Damsels in Distress
Led by the most distress-y damsel of them all, Dejah Thoris. She has honor, pride, and plenty of sass but she went from likeable in book one to thoroughly disappointing in book three. She's the princess of a war-loving nation for petesake! Can't she show more spunk? Instead of waiting for her prince to rescue her every single time, couldn't she devise some way to escape? Or to at least put up a considerable fight against her captors instead of being dragged across one extreme of Mars to the other like a rag doll.

Poorly written and developed as she is, she's little more than plot device and the object of affection/desire/admiration of John Carter and the men of Barsoom. Seriously. She's like Martian man catnip.

2. The Impulsive Warriors
Led by the (sometimes dumb) jock-extraordinaire, John Carter. While there's no doubt to his bravery, honor, or fighting prowess, he often displays a lack of foresight and common sense that makes me want to tear my hair out in frustration. Many of his almost-fatal misadventures occurred because he didn't stop to think. His impulsive nature not only puts his life in mortal peril, it also greatly hinders his quest to rescue Dejah Thoris. It’s a good thing he’s so darn lucky, otherwise he’s dead a hundred times over.

3. The Spurned Admirers
If I can’t have you, no one else will!

4. The Idolizing Masses
You’re sooo pretty, Dejah Thoris! You alone are omniscient and all powerful, divine Issus!

5. The Cannibalistic Racist Supremacists
My race is better than yours! I’m higher up on the food chain!

In conclusion, I enjoyed book one, liked book two, and found book three serviceable. Maybe sci-fi just isn’t my thing, or maybe I just need to read more sci-fi.

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I wrote this review back in 2012. I am sharing it here because it is one of my snarkiest pieces. I enjoyed writing it then, I still enjoy reading the snark now. It brings back all the annoyance and disappointment I got reading the Barsoom series. 😏